My Greatest Idol

Growing up I was forced to take these awful pills called “chloroquine”. They were to combat the blood-thirsty, malaria-carrying mosquitos, which swarmed around me day and night, while living in the village.  Once a week, my parents would put before me the most bitter tasting pill imagined, and I would have to stare at it, until I mustered enough courage to swallow it. Sometimes I would sit there for hours upon end, protesting, “Why do I have to take this?! I would rather die than take that pill.” (Yes, I was and still am a drama queen). When I got older, this fear turned into a full blown phobia (is there a name for that?) that would take me years to conquer.

I relate the topic I’ve been pondering on, this week, to that of a chloroquine pill. I don’t want to write about it, but I cannot shake it from my mind. It’s one of those things you have to gain enough courage to look at straight in the face. Pardon the pun, it is a hard pill to swallow, because it requires hard self-examination. But just like the purpose of the malaria pills was to prevent me from getting horribly sick in the future, I know that in turn examining this area will be of great benefit for me. Also, the whole purpose of this is to just meet you where I am and with what God is teaching me, these days.

So without further ado…let’s begin the self-examining.

It should be no surprise to you when I say my greatest idol is myself. I think you and I can rightly admit to this - every day we make decisions to put ourselves above others (and ultimately God). Sometimes we do this intentionally and other times, because selfishness is so ingrained in us, we do it unknowingly (by habit).

I read this verse the other day which immediately set off red flags in my mind. It goes like this: “In the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:1-4). Now who am I to say we are living in the last days. But all that doesn’t matter when you realize that, yikes, that sounds an awful lot like the way many people are living today. As believers, we should not be falling into the mold of “lovers of self” but we should be known as “lovers of God”! Remember how Paul tells us in the beginning of Romans 12 that we shouldn’t be conforming to the mold of this world, but should be transforming into something completely different (out of this world different). In this day and age, a message is being thrown in our faces. We see it everywhere, “Love yourself!” it persuades. “Go on, learn the art of loving yourself!” It even tries to disguise itself with this, “Love yourself first, so then you can love others better.” But, I believe Jesus’ life on earth, resounded an entirely different theme! After living this theme out for 31 years, He clearly states to His closest friends, “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). How do we take the spot light off of ourselves and become lovers of God? By making our lives about others - by living a life of service to others!

I will admit, the message of serving is not an attractive one, but, my friends, we are indeed called to live and breath service, if we are true followers of Christ. It is not an easy thing, the art of loving oneself must be unlearned. For every morning I find myself waking with the same thoughts on my mind - me. What do I need today? A little more peace and quiet, a second cup of coffee, more time to wake up before my baby wakes up. Or how about - I need more words of affirmation from my husband, I need to be doted upon today, because my day was long and arduous. Folks, I go as far as convincing myself that I am the “Queen of Acts of Service”, that I have been serving others all day long, when really it has all been “fake service”. What do I mean by “fake service”? I mean this, real service to God is supposed to be done out of heart of gratitude, not a heart that is grumbling and resentful. “Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing,” says the Psalmist (Psa. 100:2).

When we awake in the morning, it should be our mission to go about serving everyone the Lord puts in our path. We are told that each one of us have different gifts given to us, and we are supposed to use those gifts to serve others (1 Pt. 4:10). It’s going to be tedious work, it might mean doing those tasks that no one else wants to (I always picture scrubbing the toilets).  God stooped down into our world and was willing to take on the tasks that only servants were supposed to do. Peter was appalled when the Lord of the Universe bent down to wash his feet. He exclaimed out in horror, “Master! You are going to wash MY feet?” After washing all his disciple’s feet, Jesus explains to them this, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done for you” (John 13:6,12-15).

So, I leave you with this thought: If serving others is not too lowly for the King of Creation, then how dare it be a task too lowly for you and I.