Bleak Winter Lessons
On our 1 year Anniversary, we stopped in to visit with one of Brady’s old family friends. And she being a godly woman, wise in the ways of life, said something that has stuck with me:
So I will do just that! Writing down the happiest of seasons and the hardest of ones, ultimately so that God gets all the glory!
Every day, I tried to meet with God, but He seemed so far off, and my soul was become more parched as every day went on. Oh what an excellent time it would have been for God to desert me, to say, “That’s it, Sarah, I am done with your griping, ungrateful spirit!”. I half expected Him to…
But no! I am so glad that God doesn’t leave us alone in our foolishness. He continually pursues us, and “disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness” (Heb. 12:10).
However it would be months before I could even fathom what God was working in me.
But God never meant for me to live in comfort and luxery. He has asked the one who follows Him to EMBRACE DISCOMFORT. And from the moment we moved to Oregon, He has been teaching me what that means, and what that looks like: I see a person running towards a challenging circumstance with their arms wide open. To think realistically about being like that individual, facing every trial with such joy, has always mesmerized my tiny brain. It seems humanly impossible to take a frightening, painful situation and trust God to provide the means you need to make it to the other side, in one piece!
The winter hit us fast and forceful! Once it got cold, we realized our store of firewood wouldn’t keep us very warm as our only source of heat. The night my sister arrived (visiting from collage), the pipes froze because of the unrelenting below zero temperatures, and my lack of knowledge of “leaving the pipes dripping”. But we were determined that we could somehow get them up and running again. We tried everything to no avail. After three weeks of boiling snow and running into town for water jugs, the three of us were down right grungy, greasy individuals! What were we going to do? The ground would be frozen for 2 more months and little to our knowledge the snow that would dump on us this winter would out pass records of many decades before!
One morning, as I huddled next to the fire for warmth, for the first time in forever it seemed, I really felt God’s presence, like He was right there in the room with me. He nudged me, reminded me that I was just like the pipes under our house. It all made sense! I was frozen, but God was working on me, thawing me out. But the process is long and arduous. For I have lots of bursts. God would need to do a lot of digging to reveal my wrong motives. But ultimately, when the blockage is fixed, Living Water will spring up from a Well deep inside me.
Right when I was at my lowest and weakest point, God provided us a place to stay, not just for a night, or a week, but the remainder of the winter months (I could write a whole post on just how amazing other believers have been to us since we’ve moved here)!
I am learning much about God’s timing. We can be left in the dark for many days. Just look at Joseph, he was in prison for 2 years, simply waiting on the Lord. But God’s timing is always best! I am able to look back now at what God has been working in my life. What if His purpose of bringing Brady and I to this place was to give me a glimpse of my own faithless heart? Even when I am faithless, He is faithful, and He slowly transforms even the most ungrateful hearts to sing His praise!
Life continues to be so mysterious, but God asks us to trust Him, every day!
“Record, write, tell the story of how God will provide for your family, so that in the years to come your children can see the true life testimonies of our Faithful Father”.
So I will do just that! Writing down the happiest of seasons and the hardest of ones, ultimately so that God gets all the glory!
***
Last summer, when we moved to Oregon, God felt incredibly distant to me. Maybe it was how lonely one can feel in a strange, new place. Or maybe it was the constant “morning sickness” that was nagging at me. Or the plumbing issues we kept facing in our house. All I know was how weary and pathetic I had become. I missed the Evergreens and the mountains and the streets of Spokane. My soul longed to return to a place of familiarity.Every day, I tried to meet with God, but He seemed so far off, and my soul was become more parched as every day went on. Oh what an excellent time it would have been for God to desert me, to say, “That’s it, Sarah, I am done with your griping, ungrateful spirit!”. I half expected Him to…
But no! I am so glad that God doesn’t leave us alone in our foolishness. He continually pursues us, and “disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness” (Heb. 12:10).
However it would be months before I could even fathom what God was working in me.
***
Don’t let the fact that I grew up in the jungle fool you. One of my major “flaws” has been my love for comfort. I have always hated getting dirty. Brady soon discovered this about me, when we were just dating, and made it his mission in life to change my mind about dirt. One time he went as far as rubbing a handful of mud in my face, on a camping trip. Ohhh, I was furious!!! Needless to say, it has been a constant battle that I fight, trying to stay clean in this messy life. One I have not been willing to compromise without a huge struggle.But God never meant for me to live in comfort and luxery. He has asked the one who follows Him to EMBRACE DISCOMFORT. And from the moment we moved to Oregon, He has been teaching me what that means, and what that looks like: I see a person running towards a challenging circumstance with their arms wide open. To think realistically about being like that individual, facing every trial with such joy, has always mesmerized my tiny brain. It seems humanly impossible to take a frightening, painful situation and trust God to provide the means you need to make it to the other side, in one piece!
The winter hit us fast and forceful! Once it got cold, we realized our store of firewood wouldn’t keep us very warm as our only source of heat. The night my sister arrived (visiting from collage), the pipes froze because of the unrelenting below zero temperatures, and my lack of knowledge of “leaving the pipes dripping”. But we were determined that we could somehow get them up and running again. We tried everything to no avail. After three weeks of boiling snow and running into town for water jugs, the three of us were down right grungy, greasy individuals! What were we going to do? The ground would be frozen for 2 more months and little to our knowledge the snow that would dump on us this winter would out pass records of many decades before!
One morning, as I huddled next to the fire for warmth, for the first time in forever it seemed, I really felt God’s presence, like He was right there in the room with me. He nudged me, reminded me that I was just like the pipes under our house. It all made sense! I was frozen, but God was working on me, thawing me out. But the process is long and arduous. For I have lots of bursts. God would need to do a lot of digging to reveal my wrong motives. But ultimately, when the blockage is fixed, Living Water will spring up from a Well deep inside me.
Right when I was at my lowest and weakest point, God provided us a place to stay, not just for a night, or a week, but the remainder of the winter months (I could write a whole post on just how amazing other believers have been to us since we’ve moved here)!
I am learning much about God’s timing. We can be left in the dark for many days. Just look at Joseph, he was in prison for 2 years, simply waiting on the Lord. But God’s timing is always best! I am able to look back now at what God has been working in my life. What if His purpose of bringing Brady and I to this place was to give me a glimpse of my own faithless heart? Even when I am faithless, He is faithful, and He slowly transforms even the most ungrateful hearts to sing His praise!
Life continues to be so mysterious, but God asks us to trust Him, every day!
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